The Buttons of Abuse

We all have buttons that are pushed now and then. Those sometimes scary life triggers that rise up out of the blue and are so good at altering our moods, our thoughts and our serenity. These buttons & triggers can be a combination full of hurt, confusion, joy, passion, circumstance, belief, and/or values. 

The buttons of abuse however, taste of a very different flavour altogether. 

An abuser thrives on power. They are married to control. A favourite sport of theirs is the manipulation and coercion game. An abuser can fire explosive words at their victim without a second thought. Then there is the physical and mental abuse as well. Not to forget the financial abuse either.

Upon their control being taken directly from them, it’s usually best to steer clear of an abuser and their vendettas. Often though, it is not possible to steer clear or to stay away.

Have you ever lived with abuse day to day? Have you ever then locked abuse out of your life?Have you lived in a situation before, or currently, where you perhaps have not recognised it as abuse? Whatever the form, (because remember it can arrive in many different ways), abuse is abuse. A text message with words of bitterness, hatred and conviction.  A post on social media with so much force, it reaches the very core of its receiver. An email of narcissistic intent and condemnation. A push, slap or break so strong it reveals bruising and causes a bloodied outcome.

Getting back to the mention of buttons. How do we conquer these when they open and when they are presented without warning? Not easy to answer actually, and not black and white in the scheme of things either.


What I have found for my own life is being extremely proactive in the areas of self-help, further education, people observation, friend finding and learning the suited personal skills to push through to the life I knew was waiting for myself and my children. PLUS applying these “new tools” every single day until they become habit, second nature, something to thrive on, part of every day life and so on……… all of these have been my essentials, my go to, my sanity, my complete transformation. The wonderful part of this is that I’m really back to being “who I was” from the very beginning. Now wiser, older, stronger, resilient, learned and more in control of my own life than ever. How’s that for a recommendation and testimonial?!


I have daily rituals I follow, I listen to music and podcasts, I exercise, I consume a healthy diet, I hang with amazing people….. AND….. I (now) make BLOODY GOOD LIFE CHOICES.

Abuse may enter now and then, because it’s not a perfect world. We do hope it doesn’t continue some day, for now however, its tackled differently and we have survived.


How about you and your life? Wouldn’t it be great to not be exhausted by abuse, by trauma, by drama? Strategies, help and support honestly are just around the corner. Your peace can be found and maintained,. Your strong and challenging emotions, the “buttons of abuse” can be either switched off completely (yes they can) or at the very least pushed to a more manageable level without the major breakdowns.

Where is the ideal world where this doesn’t exist? Probably not anywhere, but if we can help ourselves, help our children, help others – then we are a squad to be reckoned with in all ways. Be Brave. Be Tenacious. Be Seriously Loving. (refer @mybravefox)

Penelope x (@penelopejaylifechoices)


#selffreedom #makingbloodygoodlifechoices #pressplayagain
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